I just had 2 of my lower teeth extracted this morning. I feel so lousy.. It must be that my daimoku was not enough.

I remember that I had my first 2 tooth taken out about half a year ago. I was very brave then. I had, and still have, extreme phobia of needles. Yes. Injection needles.. Since young, due to my phobia of needles, I never had my baby teeth extracted at the dentist. They gave way themselves. And yet, I went alone without any fear of the extraction half a year ago. The jabs at the outer gums were not painful, but the ones inside were really very painful.. Too painful to bear. But I still went through it without any fear.

However, my fear had began 2 night before this time. I had even cried in front of the dentist before she gave me the jabs. The jabs this time were not as painful as half a year ago, but the mental stress of having to take the jabs make me broke down. I cried from before the dentist gave me the jab, till I took all the 4 jabs, and was left alone for 5 minutes for the antiseptic to numb the gums.

I really felt that I was really useless, crying at such little things. Although I slept through the whole afternoon when I reached home after the extraction, I had actually cried even in my sleep. The tears were shed, for the cowardness that I showed at the dentist, and for realising that I am defeated my my own fear.

Yet, I have to brace myself, for later's 4 division meeting...

the angel

# finance officer
# violinist
# clarinetist
# singer
# dancer
# bodhisattva of the earth

loves

# singing
# dancing
# music
# chocolate
# pink

wishes

# always be happy
# bring happiness to people
# to sing
# further education in communications

readings

# the alchemist
# the white russian
# falling leaves
# tuesdays with morrie
# the five people you meet in heaven
# for one more day
# the kite runner
# the little prince
# totto chan: the little girl at the window
# da vinci code
# digital fortress

fellow angels

*f.a.m.i.l.y*
:: mei.zi

*s.o.k.a*
:: alvin.khoo
:: huimin.loi
:: shuhui.tan

*t.p.s.d*
:: fabian.ng
:: jeraldine.tan
:: zhirhong.foo

*f.d*
:: boonhao.lim
:: future.division
:: jasmine.chew
:: joey.tay
:: yingqi.chen
:: yunting.chen

*s.n.c.o*
:: candy.chye
:: chelsea.ng
:: desmond.chew
:: guangyi.chua
:: jasmine.chye
:: kailing.shim
:: noven.chan
:: vanessa.lim
:: weili.liang

*f.r.i.e.n.d*
:: andre.hanz.lee

*s.t.o.r.e.s*
:: hampigal
:: pretty.pink.pink
:: the.sister.company
:: vogue.chamber

seeks

:: daisaku ikeda library
:: daisaku ikeda quotes
:: sgi
:: sgi experiences
:: ssa
:: ssa youths

past

:: February 2006
:: March 2006
:: April 2006
:: May 2006
:: June 2006
:: August 2006
:: September 2006
:: October 2006
:: November 2006
:: December 2006
:: January 2007
:: April 2007
:: May 2007
:: June 2007
:: July 2007
:: August 2007
:: September 2007
:: October 2007
:: November 2007