*MeowZz Paradise*

SWE Kenshu

Sunday, March 05, 2006

The following is what I had shared this afternoon at our SWE Kenshu. I'm posting it here so that I can remember what I had said..

"When I got to know from Sze Nee that I'll be one of the panel speakers sharing my testimonial and experience in SWE, I was kind of in a mixed feeling. On one hand, I was asking Sze Nee "Why me? I got nothing to share lar..", on the other, I was thinking to myself , "Ok, so after having done dancing, singing and acting on stage, my First Time for sharing my experience will be dedicated to SWE"

I remembered that I had join the then Soka Syphonic Band in Mar 1996, after my WD, who got to know that I was learning to play the piano and violin, told my parents that there is such a culture group. I was only in Sec 1and the only one who was that age then. As I was thinking through my 10 years in SWE, I realised that quite a number of memorable "First Times" were actually dedicated to SWE.

While most people had their first times in their Secondary or Primary School, I had picked up my clarinet for my first "First Time" in SWE. Many thanks to Flora, Big Vanessa, Kia Hwee, Hwee Lin, Mr and Mrs Chua, who had patiently guided me through the critical intital stage, I managed to pick up clarinet and scrape through my first concert with the band at the end of the year - Symphony of Joy IV in December 1996. This is my second "First Time" in SWE - I could actually perform without stage fright! Perhaps at that time, I thought that I could hide behind everyone else thus my stage fight did not emerge.

The third "First Time" happened when I was in Sec 3, as a librarian with Weifen and Waisum. And once I was appointed as a librarian, I continued my responsibility for 7 years, sometimes standing alone. Finally, I handed over the responsibility to Alice, Chiuling, and my sister last year. My fourth "First Time" would be the first stamps on my first passport - the trip to Holland for WMC, and Shanghai for an exchange. And currently, I'm fulfilling my fifth "First Time" in SWE, by sharing my experience.

So what made me stay in SWE for a whole 10 years? For a lot reasons, I could say. One reason, which I think most of my seniors would know, is that I had supper supportive parents. The support that my parents gave me then were super exaggerating, as they would, together with my sister and brother, accompany me to HQ BR, our training venue then, and stay there till I've ended my practice, which was 2 - 7 pm, if I didn't remember wrongly. Every senior knows all my family members.

Besides having such supportive parents, of course, I must have felt something for the band too. I remember looking forward to sundays every week. Although I was quite upset a couple of times, when my parents took my siblings to the beach while I had to have band practice, I still enjoyed every moment that I've spent in SWE.

When I was appointed as a librarian, I felt all the more I need to be at the band practice every week, by hook or by crook, as my passion then had turned into responsibility. I knew that my co-librarians then had more to worry than me, be it school work, relationships, or family, thus I knew that I must be the one there in order that there will always be at least one librarian available for every practices. This responsibility and pasion even made me come for band practices in preparation for the WMC, in the midsts of my "O" Level. Of course, I'm human too, and thus I do have times when I felt like leaving the band, but when I thought about my responsibility in SWE, this thinking immediately vanishes from my mind. This was how I hung on for some of the years, especially during the period when Flora, Big Vanessa and Kai Hwee were not around, as I was the acting Section Leader too, thus have to sustain the section till they return to their roles.

Perhaps I wasn't as important as I thought I was, but it was this thinking that there is something I need to do for the band, and the band needs me around, be it for the scores, or for my section, that keeps me going.

I won't be leaving this band as long as I can play my clarinet. I have to repay gratitude to the band, as it is the first place in Gakkai that I grew up in, be it physically, emotionally, or mentally. I had grew from a timid, shy and and introvert 12 year old girl, who always says "I don't know", to a more courageous person, with near to zero stage fright. Besides, I had always wanted to be a stage performer, especially as a singer, and it is because of the stage experiences with SWE, that made me have the courage to, for my First Times, act as a leading lady for the Skit Florence Nightingale as part of my Renaisance Training, in front of all SSA YWDs, to dance with a few different groups of people for meetings and concerts, and to sing solo wth unplug for Friday Rendezvous last August, all at ICA with 900 audiences and more. I know that I wouldn't be in SD if I wasn't in SWE, neither will I be a FD IC, nor a District leader. Neither will my sister be the librarian for SWE now, nor a SD IIC, nor a District Leader, as my sister told me a few years after she joined the SWE, that it's because of the positive change in me while I was in SWE, that made her take up faith in Nichiren Daishonin's Buddhism, and become active in SWE, SD and 4D.

Now, although I've returned the responsibility of a section leader to Big Vanessa and Kia Hwee, I am still involved in the homevisiting of my section members, and their welfare, as I'm no longer the little girl who always need someone to look after her, but a big sister to my juniors, whom I have the responsibility in guiding them to the correct path.

Lastly, let me share a phrase from the poem "Youth" by an American Poet, Samuel Ullman, written in dedication to General Douglas MacArthur, the Supreme Commander of the allied forces which occupied Japan after World War II, which Ikeda Sensei had shared in the 61st Headquarters Leaders Meeting on 19 December 1992. It reads, "You are as young as your faith, as old as you doubt; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear; as young as your hope, as old as your despair."

Ikeda Sensei further explained, that firm faith and prayers, together with our deep determination, strenghthens our life force. When you believe what's right, when you direct your thoughts in the right direction, you can attain the correct faith that leads to happiness.

Hope that everyone of us can be determined to make SWE work, together. Thank you."

LA~mour @ 7:35 PM